Frame Fixers Gifts

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"She does this when she's tired."

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

Super glue . . .

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"I can't find the instructions."

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Irritable dowel syndrome

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

"It's time to break up the company!!"

Unfinished Furniture.

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

Leaking washing machine.

Cat scratching chair. Chair falls on cat.

Nature's revenge

"Quick, act casual."