Future Fixers Gifts

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

'Your future looks charming.'

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

"For financial reasons we're selling this brick and mortar home and becoming an online family."

"It's time to break up the company!!"

"With finances the way they are we had to give up the idea of a family holiday this year."

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'Thanks...but according to the web, 80 of kids' allowances are now linked to the Dow.'

"I wasn't very interested in numbers 'til I discovered you could make money out of them."

Power and the Glory tools

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'You've done a fine job throwing money at problems, Senator, but I think it's time to bring in a reliever.'

"The problem with our marriage is that we can't afford marriage counselling."