Fur Admirer Gifts

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

"Foster failure"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Dogs shaving

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"A little help, please."

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

Living with a cataholic.

'Master is too lazy to walk us, so we walk each other...'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

Leadership never hibernates.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

Tragically Roger was to discover that his 'managing aggression' seminar did not work in a wilderness setting.

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

'I keep having this recurring nightmare, that when I get back from walking in the woods my porridge is too cold.'

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

"Jeez, Honey, will you hurry up in there? I've been hibernating all winter, too, y'know!"

Bear Porridge

"I'm going to introduce you to the wonderful world of trees."