Funny Police Stories Gifts

"This locksmith bill is outrageous. People, please—when you lock 'em up, don’t throw away the key.”

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"Me? A retired canine officer. They let me go when they found out I couldn't smell fear any more."

Projection

'Doesn't ring any bells...'

First Speeding Fine.

Where were you on the night of December 24th between 10pm and 5am

Mr Potatohead in the witness protection program.

"They're gaining on us - start throwing the doughnuts."

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

'Hey, I think that's him: alligator riding motorcycle, wearing goggles and a bandana - hold it - there's no bandana.'

Stun-gun target practice.

Messing Up My Metrics

'....and how big was this bee, Sir?'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Might Versus Right.

Good news - we've found your car.

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

Piñata police line-up.

'Freeze!' (policeman to snowman)

"Policing's not what it was..."

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'I don't think that Magritte chappie has really got what it takes to be a police artist.'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

'We know you're in there Bannerwitz! Now open the dam door!!'

Oh, sorry, I didn

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

Crooks

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'