Funny Police Stories Gifts

"This locksmith bill is outrageous. People, please—when you lock 'em up, don’t throw away the key.”

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"Me? A retired canine officer. They let me go when they found out I couldn't smell fear any more."

'Doesn't ring any bells...'

First Speeding Fine.

"They're gaining on us - start throwing the doughnuts."

'Hey, I think that's him: alligator riding motorcycle, wearing goggles and a bandana - hold it - there's no bandana.'

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

'....and how big was this bee, Sir?'

Good news - we've found your car.

Might Versus Right.

'Freeze!' (policeman to snowman)

"Policing's not what it was..."

'I don't think that Magritte chappie has really got what it takes to be a police artist.'

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"So, where's the fire? And brimstone?"

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.

Crooks

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'We know you're in there Bannerwitz! Now open the dam door!!'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Eddy Penguin? I'm not sure, officer... Can you desctibe him?'