Punny Police Officers Gifts

"I don't like this. Jimmy should have been back out here by now. The cops have been in there grilling him for over an hour!"

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Projection

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

"We're all metric now..."

Messing Up My Metrics

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'....and how big was this bee, Sir?'

Piñata police line-up.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

Oh, sorry, I didn

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"Well, the date was going well until she asked me what my job is in the Police Force. "Cadaver Dog" does not seem to be the answer she was after..."

"Do you really want to tell me that you don't know anything about the vanishing of 21 socks within the last four months??!"

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Christmas Police

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

Navy games.

"Avon calling..!"

"This locksmith bill is outrageous. People, please—when you lock 'em up, don’t throw away the key.”

"You have the right to remain silent – but, it would be helpful to know what you think."

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Lousy Cop

'Finished your beat already, Mackay?!' 'Aye, Sarge. We found a short cut.'

'Does your dog bite?' 'Oh, please, please, please, boss, let me handle this one!'

Man walking past a policeman. He noticed pig hooves coming out the bottom of the policeman's pants.

'We going to move to a smaller base.'

'Anything you say will be taken down and may be used as evidence of my overtime.'

"May I speak freely?"