Law Enforcement Laugh-lover Gifts

Police Stop 'n' Search Department

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Projection

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

Sweet Jailbreak

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Rollercoaster police chase.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

Piñata police line-up.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Oh, sorry, I didn

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

"Good job, inspector! Today you made the suspect dance and tomorrow you'll make him sing!"

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'I ran a computer check on you. If you'll give me the phone number of that cute babe Diane on your MySpace site, I'll let you off with just a warning.'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

"Avon calling..!"

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

Christmas Police

"You have the right to remain silent – but, it would be helpful to know what you think."

Police car bumper sticker: 'Honk if you want a traffic ticket'.