Funny Feline Friend Gifts

"Sorry. Using my paws to clean myself just isn't my style."

'…and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!'

"And where have you previously moused?"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Cats on Board.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

The practical psychopath

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

Love.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."