Funny Feline Friend T-Shirts

"Sorry. Using my paws to clean myself just isn't my style."

'…and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!'

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cats on Board.

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

The practical psychopath

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Love.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."