Flirtatious Feline Friend Gifts

"I'm more of a dog person. Why?"

"And where have you previously moused?"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

The practical psychopath

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"Over here, Carol! I've found one with a caramel center!"

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

Love.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

You make me feel like dancing!

"Did you have a cat?"

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'