Funeral Car Enthusiast Gifts

"Trust me - he's going to a better place."

"What old school? This is my life."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."

'Let me look at that map...'

"She's family."

Old Vic / Adelphi Theatre

A pivotal scene from 'Faust: The Road Movie.'

"When was the last time you started her up?"

'If you think about it, automobiles haven't changed that much in a hundred years.'

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

Prince Charles' 38-year-old Aston Martin runs on biofuel made from wine.

Lucky car.

'Whatever it is you're making, Dad, may I use it tonight?'

"This is a CLASSIC pre-owned special. See, it has a cigarette lighter instead of a USB socket."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

"The color of my car? The manufacturer called it Autumn Chestnut Sable, but now it's more like Meatloaf Gravy Beige."

"We argue a lot about money - her library fines, my antique car collection. . ."

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

"Thieves hacked my car's electronics and stole data. Remember when they only took the hubcaps?"