Funeral Hobbyist Gifts

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Fisherman Funneral

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

'When you said we were planting a bug, this isn't what I thought you had in mind."

O'Leary's Monuments

"Trust me - he's going to a better place."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

'Why is he always hanging around?'

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'I believe it's a snuff box.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

Gravedigger

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."