Funeral Crasher Aficionado Gifts

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

"The brakes don't work."

"Trust me - he's going to a better place."

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

Gravedigger

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'- and how does the graveyard shift appeal to you?'

"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"

Dead Batteries

'First, let me emphasize that the open casket was his idea.'

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

Are you sure this is what your husband meant when he said he wanted a quiet send-off?

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

"Sir, did the piano die?"

Undertakers Pole

'You've been in many accidents so we'll have to rate you higher for an auto insurance policy.'

"No, no, I did not know him! I'm just practicing!"

"I'm actually relieved... his constant 'glass half full, silver lining, isn't life beautiful, rah-rah-sis-boom-bah' cheery optimism was really getting on my nerves."

"This is your first burial at sea, isn't it!"