Fun-loving Pragmatist Gifts

"I'm looking for a card that says 'You're one step closer to the grave', but in a humorous way."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Office Park

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

Goalie Wall.

'Now, as many of you know, I was the Monkey's uncle...'

'Sales has challenged us to a snowball fight.'

"Why can't you ever be serious?"

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat.'

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

"OK, let's go to contract."

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

"Do you have anything that declares my undying love, but with a six month get out clause if it doesn't work out!"

"Bob's more realistic."

"Thirty years of accounting and I haven't had one 'happy accident.'"

'Marry me, Linda. Two can live more cheaply than one.'

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

Business Slides.

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

"Pssst! Interested in women's clothes with actual real pockets?"

"Make the world a better place. If not that, then make lots of money so we can stay above it all."

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

"Your present state is caused by a hypersensitivity to existentialist thought. I'm recommending mega-doses of pragmatism as a therapeutic counteractive."

'Do I have to fetch the newspaper? -- Peter Hitchens always leaves a bad taste in my mouth!'

'Santa, snow is falling!'

Early executive toys...

Frank, I struggle balancing my work life with my play life. Well - you have to work so you can play. But bad work leads to rework, cutting into into play and bad play doesn't lead to replay. So, be workable and that will help you be playable! I can work with that! C'mon! Let's play!

The tunnel of ulterior motives

Some exercise program - he power walks to snack machine!

Giraffe using a snorkel while fishing.