Fun-loving Pragmatist Pillows

"I'm looking for a card that says 'You're one step closer to the grave', but in a humorous way."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Office Park

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

Goalie Wall.

'Now, as many of you know, I was the Monkey's uncle...'

'Sales has challenged us to a snowball fight.'

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat.'

"Why can't you ever be serious?"

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

"Bob's more realistic."

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

Business Slides.

'Marry me, Linda. Two can live more cheaply than one.'

"Thirty years of accounting and I haven't had one 'happy accident.'"

"Do you have anything that declares my undying love, but with a six month get out clause if it doesn't work out!"

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

"Make the world a better place. If not that, then make lots of money so we can stay above it all."

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

"Your present state is caused by a hypersensitivity to existentialist thought. I'm recommending mega-doses of pragmatism as a therapeutic counteractive."

'Do I have to fetch the newspaper? -- Peter Hitchens always leaves a bad taste in my mouth!'

'Santa, snow is falling!'

Some exercise program - he power walks to snack machine!

The tunnel of ulterior motives

Early executive toys...

Giraffe using a snorkel while fishing.

William James