Friends Who Are Pet Owners Gifts

"We need to have a talk about the cat."

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Raised by Dogs

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Don't even think about it."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

PET THEORIES

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"You're completely screwed up."

Pet Entertainers

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"What's all this?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Cat king.

"I'm no expert but I think global worming would be a good thing."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

"I yip, therefore I am."

"He wants a second opinion."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."