Friends With Pets Gifts

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"This never happened."

Raised by Dogs

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

PET THEORIES

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Feline Evolution.

Pet Entertainers

"You're completely screwed up."

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

Garbage Piñata

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

Labrador Non-retriever

Cat king.

Dog scared of a toad jumps onto a 'Beware the Dog' sign.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"What's all this?"

"I yip, therefore I am."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"He wants a second opinion."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"