Friends Who Are Pet Owners Pillows

"We need to have a talk about the cat."

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Raised by Dogs

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Don't even think about it."

PET THEORIES

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Pet Entertainers

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"You're completely screwed up."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Feline Evolution.

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

Cat king.

"What's all this?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"I'm no expert but I think global worming would be a good thing."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

"I yip, therefore I am."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"He wants a second opinion."

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."