Pet Owners' Friends Pillows

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Skeleton playing fetch.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Collies Without Borders

Raised by Dogs

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"He was a sea rescue."

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Don't even think about it."

"She's a miniature."

PET THEORIES

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"You're completely screwed up."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Feline Evolution.

Pet Entertainers

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Sorry, I can't come: Young Master has joined the scouts and tied me up with a fancy knot I can't work out...'

"If you're sure your son doesn't mind living in a cage and eating pet food then who am I to say no?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"What's all this?"