Pet-owning Friends Pillows

'It's strange, it's like he's keeping track of something.'

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Raised by Dogs

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Don't even think about it."

Christmas Pets

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'Out, damned Spot.'

PET THEORIES

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

Chasebook

"Humans are strange."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"You're completely screwed up."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Pet Entertainers

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Separation

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

Examination.

But it's the other leg that hurts.

Dog Day Afternoon