Pet Owner Friends Gifts

Barking in a second language.

Cocky cat.

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

"Heyy....Didn't I see you cowering in a corner cuz a kitty cat was in your bed?!"

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

'I finally got him papyrus trained.'

'Pssst. Go play in your new fun house or you'll hurt daddy's feelings.'

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Skeleton playing fetch.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Collies Without Borders

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Don't even think about it."

PET THEORIES

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"You're completely screwed up."

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Pet Entertainers

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Cat king.

"What's all this?"

Man walking a dog is passed by a runner carrying a baby on her hip.

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."