Friend With A Unique Sense Of Humor Pillows

"That's Jake, Bethany, Stuart, and at the end their imaginary dad."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Skeleton playing fetch.

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

"He's starting to flag a bit"

"...and in conclusion..."

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

Shall I be mother?

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

A parrot business meeting

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

Robinia Floribunda

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"

"I don't think I'm quite ready for Satan sings the blues!"

"You just had to ask him how he was doing, didn't you?"

"Now where did I park my car?"