Best Friend With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Apparently he met her when he was on his honeymoon!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Skeleton playing fetch.

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"He's starting to flag a bit"

"...and in conclusion..."

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

Shall I be mother?

"The world revolves around my cat."

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

A parrot business meeting

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Robinia Floribunda

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"

"You just had to ask him how he was doing, didn't you?"

"Now where did I park my car?"

No, it doesn't come furnished.

'You've been smarting off a lot lately -- Have you been fooling around with that 'Tree of Knowledge'?'