Friend Who Is A New Dad Gifts

"You didn't use the sealant you used on the boat on this diaper, did you?"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"That's mine!"

Doughboy Dad

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Which one's yours?"

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Which one's mine?"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Which one's yours?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"It's a dependent!"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Moms gone wild

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life