Friend Becoming A Dad Gifts

"Mr Sock just became a father!"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Twenty-first century baby walker

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Dad Trophies

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Father nursing his sick child

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."