Friend's Kid Gifts

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Oh no! Buy new clothes so I can go on a date, and then I have to ask dad for a ride to the movies, and I got this pimple last week right on my chin! Why is this happening?!"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

Twenty-first century baby walker

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"Technology is for babies!"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."