Friends' Kids Gifts

'Reflexes Normal.'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

'Ahhh...'

I will study my speling words...

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Twenty-first century baby walker

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Philosopher trading cards.