Friends' Kids T-Shirts

'Reflexes Normal.'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Twenty-first century baby walker

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Philosopher trading cards.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'