Friend With Children Gifts

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."