Friend Who Is A Parent Gifts

"Raise what bar?"

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

The Truth Fairy.

'Everything's fine with the babysitter - from what I could hear above the music and clinking glasses.'

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Ahhh...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Twenty-first century baby walker

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

How's the new one?

Boys making skis from bits of fence.