Friends Who Are Parents Gifts

'It's our 10 year plan.'

"Trust me, Elaine, having kids changes you!"

'Yoo hoo we're home! Have any trouble getting him off to bed?'

Baby to-do list.

Nappy Hour - Drunk mums with babies

"I can't wait to meet the author! He has such an amazing understanding of children!"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'Ahhh...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

How's the new one?

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

Beware of teething baby.

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

"Sorry I'm late, the crosstown is running local."

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'