Friends Who Are Parents Pillows

'It's our 10 year plan.'

"Trust me, Elaine, having kids changes you!"

'Yoo hoo we're home! Have any trouble getting him off to bed?'

Baby to-do list.

Nappy Hour - Drunk mums with babies

"I can't wait to meet the author! He has such an amazing understanding of children!"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Ahhh...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

How's the new one?

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Technology is for babies!"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Beware of teething baby.

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."