Friend Of A Parent Pillows

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

"But you can't miss her second-grade first-semester graduation!"

"Where are all the rodents?! Hmmm, that baby girl in the stroller can't be that heavy..."

Beware of teething baby.

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

'Ahhh...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Twenty-first century baby walker

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

"Sorry I'm late, the crosstown is running local."

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

'Of course you can hear a rattle!'

"We walked him a lot when he was a puppy. . . now he walks us."