Friend Of A Parent Pillows

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

"But you can't miss her second-grade first-semester graduation!"

"Where are all the rodents?! Hmmm, that baby girl in the stroller can't be that heavy..."

Beware of teething baby.

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

'Ahhh...'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

"Sorry I'm late, the crosstown is running local."

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

'I've always been partial to the Goo Goo Dolls.'