Friend Who Is A Parent Pillows

"Raise what bar?"

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

The Truth Fairy.

'Everything's fine with the babysitter - from what I could hear above the music and clinking glasses.'

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Twenty-first century baby walker

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

How's the new one?

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'