Friend Of Parent Pillows

'Now that's what I call a sneeze!'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

A young Don King

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

I will study my speling words...

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

Twenty-first century baby walker

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Infantry.

Senior Jeopardy!

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"