Friends In Parenting Journey Gifts

How's the new one?

'Ahhh...'

'The child is very illogical'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

Please take a number.

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

They Removed my Brain.

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'