Parenting Pals Gifts

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'The child is very illogical'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Ah...here they are!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

How's the new one?

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

The modern generation!

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

The 3 Musketeers come undone.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Toilet Training

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'