Parenthood Pals Gifts

She Had Enough To Drink.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Baby Screen Time

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

Growth Charts

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"We have the exact same taste."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

Young Gums

'There's a planet in my book with two moons! Imagine how much howling we could do there!'

Toys in the DVD Player.

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."