Parenthood Participant Gifts

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Baby pram as a tank

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Baby Screen Time

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

Growth Charts

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"We have the exact same taste."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

Young Gums

'There's a planet in my book with two moons! Imagine how much howling we could do there!'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."