Parenthood Explorer Gifts

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

The surrendered mom

"Congratulations. She had 10,000 worker bees."

D-Day (Dad Day)

Father's Day: Celebrate the union between a man and a woman!

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

Kangaroo Pushing Buggy.

'I just retired from politics to spend more time with my children -- are you my children?'

'Cheers dad, how do I plug it in?'

'Aww, cheer up. You'll be through postpartum depression and into the empty nest syndrome before you know it!'

'There, there mama's little cross to bear.'

"I didn't quite understand it, but I think she's fooling around with a stork."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Mom says she has a souffl

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"