Parenthood Chaos Explorer Gifts

'If I had my time over again, I'd be too young to go out with boys.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"