Childhood Chaos Explorer Gifts

'I'll bet you didn't know the inside of our chimney has little ledges...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

One!

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

Child development. How children change.

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

How to sleep when you're a kid...

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

"Needs ketchup."

The Black Hole of Plans

I've fallen and I refuse to get up! Medical Alert System for Toddlers.

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

'Don't you think he's a little to young to take up fishing, Ralph?'

"I'm getting out of the dog walking business! Last night I chased a cat up a tree!"

Cast of Dream

'Now remember, the password is 'Woof!''

"I downloaded the Laugh Track app yo soften mom when I give her my lame excuse."

'I want her to become accustomed to air travel.'

'Watching ant TV!'

'When I grow up, I think I'd like to be a deus ex machina, just like you.'