Childhood Chaos Gifts

'An oil spill in the YARD?'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Two children play with a pedal bin

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

I've fallen and I refuse to get up! Medical Alert System for Toddlers.

"Show Daddy what you learnt at Kung fu"

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

Supermom meets her match - super kid.

"I downloaded the Laugh Track app yo soften mom when I give her my lame excuse."

'My room's in a terrible state, Mum's just cleaned it.'

A chaos of kids

Jared's 'Crayon On Wall' collection.

I'm beginning to see why they call these SELF-inking stamps'

'Yeah, it was wonderful to have the kids home the whole summer.'

'For heaven's sake, couldn't you have spelled it out?'

"That's the hospital car wash- your baby's over here."

'I'll bet you didn't know the inside of our chimney has little ledges...'

Two boys pulling faces

'It's the Neighbourhood Watch..."

'She's trying to prove her masculinity.'