Parenthood Navigator Gifts

Returning Christmas gifts.

"When you head off to camp, your parents will want to see some separation anxiety."

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'This will be perfect. I have two teenagers.'

'You march up those stairs and head straight to your room!'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

"Yes, Junior is still asleep! Now that he's a teenager, he's almost fully diurnal..."

'Politicians retire, parents don't!'

"I've lost a son but gained a daughter."

'Get your hands out of your pocket!'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

"She's very driven."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'How many fingers do you see?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'Good news dear, the doctor says we're going to have twins.'

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."