Parenthood Enthusiasts Gifts

Pregnant woman with t-shirt 'Baby on way'; Man with t-shirt 'Mortgage on way'.

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'more pain relief....for me!'

'Personally I think the washer needs replacing.'

"She’s changed so much since her ultrasound photo."

What a nice thing to say! Thanks for calling. What's up? Jan said Twig was a terrific babysitter. No surprise. Click. But then she said something odd. About MY daughter? When she got home, their house was spotless. Maybe it was a different "Twig."

'Being a baby? Not all bad!'

Baby Wind Up.

Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Growth Charts

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

"We have the exact same taste."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Baby Screen Time

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

Young Gums

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"He won't eat anything but corn."