Parenthood Dreamers Gifts

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Baby pram as a tank

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"I hear you may do a baby."

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

IVF assessment centre.

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'