Parenting Pals Pillows

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'The child is very illogical'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Ah...here they are!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

The 3 Musketeers come undone.

The modern generation!

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

How's the new one?

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

Toilet Training

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

'He's my personal potty trainer.'