Friends Who Are New Parents Gifts

The upside down cot

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Or, it could be a huge advantage."

'See, I told you he was a good babysitter!'

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

Interior design trends for parents....

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

The No No No's

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Were we expecting a baby?"