Friend With A New Baby Gifts

'He's just been getting the baby off to sleep.'

Cry babies.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'Tell me about your puppyhood?'

Moms gone wild

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Batman's first Bat Mobile

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

Dog Training For The Ninties

"They say that every dog has its day, and this apparently is mine."

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

Woman Breast-Feeding Two Babies & Third Child Sucking Breast-Shaped Ice Cream