Friends With A Baby Gifts

Cry babies.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

How's the new one?

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Moms gone wild

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

Childbirth and Covid 19

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

The Ultrasound.

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

Anger Disposal Experts sent in a remote control operated unit to defuse Ralph's tantrum.

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

"They can't see you right now - would you like a bottle while you're waiting?"