Friend Who Is A New Dad Pillows

"You didn't use the sealant you used on the boat on this diaper, did you?"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Doughboy Dad

"That's mine!"

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Which one's yours?"

"Which one's yours?"

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Which one's mine?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"It's a dependent!"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Moms gone wild

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life